Tuesday, May 19, 2009

This is your brain on steroids...

It's been a long standing tradition in American sports history that when a team (seemingly any team) wins a championship they get to go to the White House and meet the president. Sometimes the mixing of athletes and political figures can create an awkward moment. However, for the most part the whole thing is just a good photo opportunity for all involved. As the Pittsburgh Steelers prepare to make their visit to the White House and celebrate their Super Bowl victory, there is one player who will not make the trip, actually he is flat-out refusing the invitation.

James Harrison was one of the most feared men in the NFL last season. He had nothing short of a phenomenal season. He capped off the 2008 campaign by making one of the greatest plays in Super Bowl history as he rumbled nearly 100 yards for a touchdown. There is no doubt that the Steelers wouldn't have won the Super Bowl, if Harrison was not on the team last season. Now it appears that Harrison is ready to make his impact off the field, by turning down the invitation to travel with the Steelers to Washington D.C. to meet President Obama.

Harrison had the following to say about the whole situation:"This is how I feel—if you want to see the Pittsburgh Steelers, invite us when we don't win the Super Bowl. As far as I'm concerned, he [Obama] would've invited Arizona if they had won."

Really? You mean if the Cardinals had won they would have gotten the Lombardi trophy and not you?!? I think the Steelers should be presented the trophy if they don't win the Super Bowl...yeah...umm...that would make sense!

It definitely comes across as arrogant that Harrison feels that it should be Obama who is honored to meet him and not the other way around. I suppose that James Harrison's offseason is just too busy to take a day out to visit the president.
I mean really, how busy can Obama be that he doesn't take time out to visit the star linebacker on his own time? You've got to sit back and think seriously: who does this guy think he is? I'd actually prefer it if Harrison had refused the White House visit because he was making a political statement. However, if the PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES invites you to his house...you go!

With behavior of this nature, it is not surprising that half the NFL seemingly gets arrested on a regular basis. It should be noted that Harrison also refused to go to the White House in 2006 to meet President Bush. I guess he was too busy on that day as well.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

It's Your Fault!!

Dear Mainstream Sports Media Types,

We're really not that different, you and I. We've all been given a medium to express our opinions about sports, and we've all done so with varying degrees of success. While many of you have been given an opportunity to work for major newspapers or television stations, I'm just some schmuck with a computer and an opinion that's been fortunate enough to have roughly 200 people read about my feelings about different sports topics. To be quite honest about it, a lot of you out there are the inspiration behind what I do here on my site, and for that I thank you.

However, I feel that something needs to be said about the coverage of the Brett Favre situation that has arisen in recent weeks. Not the fact that there's a ton of coverage of it, because that's the way it should be, whether we like it or not. Big names get more ink than smaller names, and I understand that. Rather, it's the tone that this coverage has taken that leaves me with some cause for concern. Allow me to explain.

As someone that has been a fan of the Minnesota Vikings for as long as he's been able to grasp the basic concepts of football, I've had a long and healthy dislike for Brett Favre. Was it due to the fact that he was always beating the Minnesota Vikings? Well. . . not really. Until the latter part of his stint in Green Bay, Favre had never been terribly successful against the Vikings, and in fact has turned in some of the worst performances of his career against them.

Was it because he was the face of the league for a while and is regarded as one of the best players in the history of the NFL? Certainly not. I understand that big names will get that sort of spotlight, and that the Vikings have had a couple of those players over the course of their history. Honestly, I've seen some of the all-time greats line up against the Vikings over the years I've been watching them. . . names like Barry Sanders, Reggie White, Mike Singletary, and so forth. . . and I didn't have the active disdain for any of them that I've harbored for Brett Favre.

No, the reason for my dislike of Brett Favre during my time as a fan of the Minnesota Vikings is this: I've been watching NFL football for almost twenty years now. . . and over the course of those years, no player in the history of the National Football League has had more excuses made for them or had their ass kissed on a more frequent basis than the man that many simply refer to as "#4." It may have been enhanced somewhat by being a fan of a rival team, but it isn't just Viking or Bear or Lion fans that feel this way about the guy, and I'm sure that many of those fans would attest to that.

It's not just a couple of mainstream media outlets that I'm focused on here, either, quite frankly. Everyone from Peter King to Joe Buck to John Madden to ESPN has had a role in creating this monster. When Brett Favre went out against the St. Louis Rams in the playoffs in 2002 and threw an NFL post-season record six interceptions, he went out in the post-game press conference and proceeded to throw his entire receiving corps under the bus. And you let him do it.

When he went out against the Philadelphia Eagles in 2004 and, in the face of a blitz, proceeded to throw a pass 30 yards over the head of receiver Javon Walker for an interception, who did you folks blame? It certainly wasn't Brett Favre. . . it was Javon Walker for not catching a pass that Usian Bolt wouldn't have caught up to.

When he faced the Minnesota Vikings in 2005 and completely stunk up Lambeau Field for four quarters, including underhanding a pass after being five yards over the line of scrimmage because he was scared to get hit, all you could do is remind us repeatedly about how much fun Brett Favre was having. If I didn't know any better, I'd think that Favre was the only guy in NFL history that actually enjoyed playing the game.

When he spent the entire 2006 season looking horrible and turning the ball over 36 times, the blame didn't go to #4. . . it immediately went to his "supporting cast." In the eyes of the mainstream media, Brett Favre spent 15 years doing absolutely no wrong, whether it was on the field or off the field. All of you gave Brett Favre the impression that he was running the franchise in Green Bay. All of you gave Brett Favre the impression that he was bigger than any team in the league, and frankly bigger than the league itself.

And now you're "tired of the Favre saga?" Now you think it's pathetic and sad that the man is doing this? Please. I hate to break the news to all of you, but you created this monster. Sure, superstars should be treated a bit differently than your average player, but the way you treated Brett Favre for the majority of his career was above and beyond all of that. How can you possibly be surprised by the way he's acting now after the way that all of you have chosen to enable him for the better part of his NFL career?

I don't know if Brett Favre is going to end up a member of the Minnesota Vikings. None of you know and, quite frankly, he probably doesn't know right now either. And whether he joins the Vikings or not, it won't change the fact that he's a primadonna or a jackass or a diva. But, by God, much like Randy Moss during the time he was in Minnesota, for that one year he'll be our primadonna, our jackass, and our "diva." Some will embrace him, some will reject him, and some (like myself) don't even know where they'd stand on such a situation.

But, please. . . drop the outrage and anger over the entire situation playing out the way it has. Again, you were the enablers in this relationship, and if you don't like where it's gone, you have nobody to blame but yourselves.

Sincerely,
Kevin R. Blackann

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Here we go...again.....

It's like the Capulets telling Romeo he should run the family business. It's like Israel electing a Palestinian President. It's like Kareem suiting up at center for the '86 Celtics. It's like Garfield freely sharing a pan of lasagna with Nermal.

Have I made my point yet? That this whole thing just feels very wrong on every level? OK, good. I swore to myself up and down that I wouldn't write a single article about you-know-who again until something actually happened. Well, much to my amazement and horror, something has happened (or is about to happen).

I'm 27 years old. I have spent well over half of my entire life hating Brett Favre. Of course I have; I was supposed to! He was the most notable player on my least favorite team for the better part of two decades. It felt really, really good to unleash my passionate disdain for all things Brett Favre. I'm the exact opposite of John Madden if you think about it. Now it seems as though there's a very real possibility that he may play for my favorite team this year. What the hell am I supposed to think?!

Before I even attempt to talk myself into being OK with this, I have some questions to ask:

1.) Is he too old and beat up to be effective?

To paraphrase Happy Gilmore: "But he's an old man. I mean, look at him, he's--old! You can't just make him our quarterback, he's--too old!"

Favre is going to turn 40 early in the 2009 season. Name me some athletes that have had played at a championship level professionally after 40. And what about those shoulder and bicep injuries? He hasn't had surgery since he faltered down the stretch last season; has rest magically cured his ailments? If so, Wrangler should run advertisements about the miraculous healing power of their denim.

2.) How much would it cost?

In 2008, Favre made $12 million with the Jets, making him the 5th highest paid quarterback in the league. I don't think it's much of a stretch for me to say that he's not going to be a top-5 quarterback in 2009. So unless he takes a "screw the money, I just want to stick it to Ted Thompson" discount, why would the Vikings want to overpay Favre when they don't have a ton of cap room to begin with?

3.) What happens to the 3 QBs the Vikings already have on the roster?

Look, I get it...none of the three quarterbacks currently on Minnesota's roster scream out "perennial Pro Bowler." Favre definitely has the track record to out-perform RosenCopter, T-Jax, and Booty Call. Even the most rabid Favre hater will admit that...because I am, and I just did.

But since the Vikings are almost certain to keep less than four QBs on their 2009 roster, do they give up on the Booty Experiment after just one year? Are they OK with giving up a 4th round pick for Sage riding the pine most of the season? Is Childress willing to swallow his pride and admit The Tarvaris Jackson Experiment was for the most part a failure? Even if my nightmare ends and Favre doesn't sign with the Vikes, what damage has already been done to their psyches? I don't have an easy answer for any of those questions.

4.) Are we really OK with every story about the 2009 Vikings revolving around one player?

Because that's exactly how it's going to be in the mainstream media. Sure, Favre will bring the Vikings more press coverage than we've ever dreamed of. But is that necessarily a good thing? Will the best running back in the NFL be OK with the 'round-the-clock Favre Circus overshadowing his awesomeness? How will Jared Allen, Percy Harvin, Antoine Winfield, the Williams Wall & co. deal with the constant distraction? Remember, not everyone on the Jets was thrilled with the team bringing in Favre last year. Would the extra national scrutiny be worth it?

Don't get me wrong, I realize that Favre to the Vikings has a chance to be something special. If he plays well and the team stays healthy, the Vikings might have a Super Bowl caliber team. It would also be really fun to see Packer fans squirm and try to convince themselves that they're just fine while the mere thought of Favre coming to Lambeau in purple gives them hives.

I also realize that this kind of thing isn't completely unheard of in the sports world: look at Johnny Damon going from the Red Sox to the Yankees. Heck, even the younger sister in "A League Of Their Own" switched teams. But Favre to the Vikings would be roughly a million times bigger than any of these.

If this actually goes through and Favre does become a Viking, I'm guessing I'll probably just have to stay loyal to my team and try to ignore the dry heaves I get every time I see that purple #4 jersey. I'll have to slowly re-program my brain's reaction from "glee" to "disappointment" when I see a Favre interception, and vice versa for touchdowns.

I have one last thought, and this one is for Mr. Favre himself:

Brett, if you're actually serious about joining the Vikings, I have the perfect way for you to start winning over new fans in Minnesota: DO US A FAVOR AND MAKE UP YOUR FREAKING MIND SOONER RATHER THAN LATER FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE! Whatever you decide, please, please, please, please, please, PLEASE just let this be resolved well before August. I have a summer to enjoy as a newly wed, and I don't want to spend it writing about what you may or may not do. Thank you.

OK, I'll stop there. I'd like to say writing this made me feel a lot better, but it really didn't. There's no simple on/off switch for diehard sports fans and their hatred. I will still hate Brett Favre until further notice. If he does become a Viking, I guess I'll just have to carry a puke bucket around with me when I watch the first few games. Because it's like a Michigan football star going to law school at Ohio State.....it just doesn't feel right.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Third Quarter: Home Sweet Home

Halfway through our look at the Vikings schedule, I think we can all pretty much agree that the Vikings should have a better than average record going into their bye week in Week 9. Five of Minnesota's first eight games will be played away from the cozy confines of the Metrodome, so the second half of the schedule sets up nicely for a second-half run, and nowhere is that more apparent than in the third quarter of the 2009 schedule.

The Vikings will come out of the gate from the bye week with three consecutive home games, which is usually a rarity in the National Football League. Couple that with the bye, and the Beloved Purple won't have to leave the Twin Cities for a month. The schedule for this particular portion of the season doesn't look particularly menacing either.

We start out with our second tilt of the season against the Detroit Lions. Last year was a bit of an anomaly from the way this rivalry has gone over the course of the past decade or so. Last year the Lions played Minnesota close in both of their meetings, and were absolutely closer to beating the Vikings than they were to beating any other team on their schedule. However, the general rule has been that these two teams play a close game in Detroit. . . and then the Lions come to the Metrodome and get their heads stomped in by Minnesota. Hopefully this trend will continue this season, and the Vikings can maintain their dominance in a rivalry that they've pretty much owned for the last decade.

The next game for Minnesota will see them playing host to a team that the Vikings have developed a bit of a history with over the past couple of years, the Seattle Seahawks. Yes, they had a lot of injured players on offense last year, including quarterback Matt Hasselbeck, who may or may not still be whining about E.J. Henderson's perfectly legal hit during the 2006 meeting between these two teams. This is reflected by their team's final standings on offense, where they finished 25th in points scored and 28th in total yardage.

However, with that being the case, their defense was pretty abysmal in 2008 as well, where they were dead last in the NFL against the pass, 30th in yards allowed, and 25th in scoring defense. They then chose to upgrade their defense by trading one of their true studs in LB Julian Peterson to Detroit. In exchange, they got DT Cory Redding. . . who, since getting a big, fat contract extension in Detroit, has done a whole lot of jack squat. For crying out loud, they're still starting Brian Russell at safety. Yes, THAT Brian Russell.

As I said, yes, the Seahawks had some injury problems last year. . . they've also got a whole lot of holes that need patching. They're no longer the dominant force in the NFC West, or in the NFC in general. Unless they patch a whole lot of those holes at one time, I'm not sure if they can walk into the Metrodome and knock off a Vikings team that should have some momentum going.

We follow that up with a visit from the "Super Bowl XLIV Champion", 2008 NFC North runner-up Chicago Bears. I've already detailed that I'm not terribly scared nor impressed by the Bears, with or without Jay Cutler. And, once again, the reason behind that is their defense is completely getting by on reputation to this point rather than how they're producing on the field. Jay Cutler, at last check, doesn't play defense. . . and, for the better part of last season, neither did anybody else in Chicago. Unless Brian Urlacher has somehow managed to take eight years off of his age in the off-season and Charles Tillman has figured out where Bernard Berrian is. . . how is that going to change now that they've gutted their draft?

That said, we generally split our games with our NFC North rivals from Green Bay and Chicago. I have no reason to think that Minnesota won't hold up their end of that bargain on this day. The Vikings bucking the trend and completing the season sweep will be a tall order.

I'll conclude this portion of the schedule with the only road game in this quarter of the season, as the Vikings will return to the scene of what might have been their most dominating performance of 2008 with a clash against the defending NFC Champion Arizona Cardinals. We all remember the 2008 game between these two teams, with Tarvaris Jackson throwing for four touchdown passes and the Beloved Purple generally thrashing Arizona from one side of University of Phoenix Stadium to the other. I don't think it's realistic to expect a repeat of this performance, but this is still, certainly, a winnable game.

In 2008, the Cardinals' pass offense was amazing. They had three receivers each go over the 1,000-yard mark, and basically threw the ball all over the field whenever they wanted. Of course, this came at the expense of having a pretty terrible rushing offense, as they finished dead last in the league in that category. Also, their offense might have a bit of a different look in 2009, as running back Edgerrin James is disgruntled, and the Cardinals are openly shopping wide receiver Anquan Boldin. Also, with as great as Kurt Warner was in 2008, he had spent most of his time in Arizona fighting over the starting job with 2006 draft bust Matt Leinart. There's an old saying that says that you can't outrun Father Time. . . is this the year that Kurt Warner gets caught? We'll have to see.

Defensively, despite turning it on in the post-season and getting Jake Delhomme to use them for target practice in the NFC Divisional Playoffs, the Cardinals' defense really isn't all that intimidating. They added CB Bryant McFadden in what was a pretty good move, but they haven't done a whole lot beyond that. The Boldin situation should allow them to bring in a little more help with extra draft picks.

All in all, going into the final four games of the year, I honestly (at this point) think that the Vikings should be somewhere in the 8-4/9-3 range and have some serious momentum going their way heading into the stretch run. Of course, after 20 years of being a Vikings' fan, nothing this team does would surprise me, but I'm actually fairly optimistic about what we've got to work with thus far.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Second Quarter: Bloody Sundays

As detailed in the "First Quarter", things appear to be set up for the Vikings to get off to a fast start in 2009. Hopefully that will be the case, because the second quarter of the schedule for the Beloved Purple looks to be absolutely brutal. This isn't to say that we should be automatically chalking up losses for the Vikings in these particular games, but they're going to be tough ones to be certain.

The second stanza of the 2009 season kicks off with the Vikings traveling to the Edward Jones Dome for a date with the St. Louis Rams. This may or may not be the first game back for the Williams Wall, depending on the circumstances of the StarCaps case. However, it will definitely be Minnesota's third game in their first five against a team with a brand new head coach, as former Giants' defensive coordinator Steve Spagnuolo has taken the reins of what used to be "The Greatest Show on Turf."

The Rams have been pretty bad for a while now. . . after all, you don't pick #2 overall in two consecutive drafts by being great or anything like that. They were 31st overall in the NFL in 2008 in both points scored and points allowed. After being outstanding in 2006, Rams' quarterback Marc Bulger has spent the last two seasons looking pretty brutal. Running back Steven Jackson has battled injuries the last two seasons as well. Things don't figure to get any easier for the Rams' offense in 2009 after the losses of WR Torry Holt and future Hall of Fame OT Orlando Pace.

St. Louis was equally brutal on defense. They were near the bottom of the league against the run, and while they look slightly more respectable against the pass, they faced the second-fewest pass attempts in the league. . . no doubt a function of trailing frequently and having teams running the ball to eat the clock. On paper, the Vikings should be able to get past the Rams with no real trouble. . . but, as we know, games aren't played on paper. However, it would be nice if the Rams' game was a bit of a "breather," because Minnesota's next two games are going to be absolute slobberknockers.

The Beloved Purple will return to the Metrodome in Week Six for their second inter-conference match-up of the season, as they'll line up against the Baltimore Ravens. The Ravens are as great on defense as the Rams were bad, ranking no worse than third in any of the four major defensive categories. They were third in the NFL in points allowed, second in total yards allowed, second against the pass, and third against the run. The Ravens are one of the toughest, most physical defenses in the NFL, and they really have been for quite some time. You would also think that they might be due to start slowing down. . . Ray Lewis is getting older, they lost LB Bart Scott to the New York Jets, CB Chris McAlister likely won't be back. . . but the Ravens also have outstanding depth on the defensive side, so any drop-off that might happen will more than likely be minimal.

Offensively, they have a youngster at QB in Joe Flacco who played above and beyond expectations as a rookie in 2008. Thought to be a project when he was selected by the Ravens out of Delaware, Flacco started all 16 games for the Ravens last year, and played very well. He looked brutal in the post-season, but he didn't turn the ball over until the team's loss in the AFC Championship Game. He was helped by a three-headed rushing attack that was fourth in the NFL in that department, and with a year under his belt should be even better. This is definitely going to be a fight for Minnesota, because they will absolutely have to get to Flacco to be successful. And there will be no rest for the Vikings, because their next game will be a trip to the place that the Ravens lost that aforementioned AFC Championship Game.

Yes, after playing one of the best defenses in the NFL the week before, the Vikings will take a trip to Heinz Field to take on the defending world champion Pittsburgh Steelers and what was unquestionably the best defense in the NFL in 2008. Pittsburgh was #1 in the NFL in three of the four major defensive categories in 2008. Minnesota's game against the Ravens will feature two of the top three rush defenses in the league from 2008. The game against the Steelers will feature two of the top. . .well, two. Former Vikings coach. . . man, it's painful to write that. . . Mike Tomlin has asserted himself quite nicely in Pittsburgh, and Dick Lebeau's defense will be out to terrorize Sage Rosenfels or Tarvaris Jackson.

I won't lie to you, folks. . . out of the sixteen games on Minnesota's 2009 schedule, there's only one that I can honestly say that I don't think the Vikings have any real shot at winning. And it's this one. The Steelers are just that good. If this game was in Minnesota, I might give us a slight chance. At Pittsburgh, on the other hand? Not so much. Sure, we might catch the Steelers on a bad day or something. . . crazier things have happened before. . . but that's not something we should necessarily be betting on. Living an hour north of Pittsburgh...it sure would be nice if the unlikely happened though...ha ha!

The first half of our season ends with our annual trip to that shitty field up in Green Bay for our second bout with the Packers. We briefly touched on the Packers in the first post, so I won't re-hash everything here. However, it's always been significantly tougher for the Vikings to win at Lambeau than it's been for them to beat the Packers at the Dome. On the bright side, we'll be getting there while the weather should still be fairly decent, which is always nice. But I wouldn't be surprised to see the Packers get a measure of revenge for the slapping down they should get in Week 4 at our house in prime time. I'd be slightly more surprised to see Minnesota complete the season sweep here, but that certainly would be nice.

As things stand right now, I'd be disappointed if Minnesota was worse than 5-3 going into their bye week. But the second quarter of this season, highlighted by games against what might be the two most physical defenses in the National Football League, will certainly be a rough one from a personnel standpoint for Minnesota.

Friday, April 17, 2009

BOOM!

I bet somewhere right now, Frank Caliendo and Brett Favre are weeping.

Longtime coach, broadcaster, and most importantly (in my opinion) video game icon John Madden is hanging up his microphone. It was quite a run for the 73-year-old Hall of Fame, bus-riding, Favre-loving master of the obvious. He had been in the booth announcing NFL games for various networks since 1979.

Say what you will about the guy, but there is no question he has been a gigantic (no pun intended) part of the NFL's image for... well.... at least my entire 27 years on this planet. He coached the Raiders to a Super Bowl victory over... some team from Minnesota that you may have heard of. I believe this is why I've been genetically predisposed to be eternally annoyed by the guy, but I will say he was an excellent coach. He still holds the best winning percentage of any coach in NFL history. Even better than Childress! Amazing!

Of course, my generation reveres John not for his coaching or broadcasting but for the wonderful gift he and EA Sports give to us each August. Yes, the one place where the Vikings hold roughly a .996 winning percentage all-time on my consoles throughout the years - Madden NFL. The video game juggernaut has given football fans countless wasted hours, reasons to call in sick, and sore thumbs since 1993.

So sure, like me, you may be rejoicing the fact that you'll no longer have to hear John's "analysis" consisting of reiterating what you just saw with your own eyes. Just remember what he has brought to the game, both real and virtual. While I can't say I'm incredibly sad to see him leave the booth, I'll still give credit where credit is due. John Madden was, is, and will be an NFL icon.

This turducken is for you big guy.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

First Quarter: With or Without You

The road to Super Bowl XLIV was officially constructed yesterday, as the NFL released the schedules of all 32 NFL teams. Minnesota's road looks like it has some bumps in it, but it looks like there could be some patches of smooth sailing as well. I know it's really early and everything, and you can't put a heck of a lot of stock into a team's performance from the previous season when looking ahead in this league (see the 2008 Miami Dolphins), but hey. . . it's fun to speculate, too. So, I'll begin breaking down what the 2009 schedule has in store for the Beloved Purple. I'm going to break this down into quarters and spread it out over the course of a few days.

If the Vikings do, for some reason, have to start the season without the services of Pat and Kevin Williams, it looks like the league has attempted to soften the blow a little bit by scheduling the Vikings against teams that don't have particularly good offenses. I would assume that such an attempt was unintentional, because. . .well. . . because it's the Vikings and we know that most of the league hierarchy can't stand them.

We'll start with the Cleveland Browns, who might have been the NFL's biggest disappointment in 2008. I personally picked them (moronically) to win their division last year. Their offense was, quite frankly, awful, as they ranked near the bottom of every significant offensive category. Some of this can be chalked up to injuries, while some of it can be chalked up to the quarterback controversy that raged for most of the season between Derek Anderson and Brady Quinn. The Browns were 30th in the NFL in points scored, 31st in both total offense and passing offense and 26th in rushing yardage.

Defensively, the Browns were a bit better. . . but, in what has to be considered good news for the Vikings, they were 28th in the league against the run. They'll also be breaking in a new coach and, presumably, installing new systems on offense and defense. I should be present for the game so that should mean...well... it'll probably mean a loss...ha ha!

From there, we move on to Ford Field and the first of our two dates with the Detroit Lions. Yes, the Vikings gave the Lions their only true shots at winning in 2008, but the fact remains that the 2008 Lions were 0-16, and might have been the worst franchise in the history of the National Football League. While I don't think it's possible that they repeat that in 2009, I don't think they're going to get off to a rip-roaring (pardon the pun) start, either. Like Cleveland, they're breaking in a new coach as well in Jim Schwartz.

As you'd expect from an 0-16 team, they weren't all that good on either side of the ball. . . but while the offense was just bad, the defense was horrific, ranking at the bottom in three of the four major categories (points, yards, rushing yards) while climbing all the way to 27th against the pass. Daunte Culpepper played well against his former team last year, and will probably have revenge on his mind again, but hopefully it won't matter all that much.

From there, the Vikings finally get to come home and open their Metrodome season against the San Francisco 49ers. Based on last year, the Niners are significantly more respectable on offense than either of the Vikings' first two opponents. . . but, while they're not breaking in a new coach, per se, Crazy Mike Martz is no longer the offensive coordinator by the Bay, so the offense might not be quite so prolific in 2009. This will, however, be the Vikings' first game against a premiere running back in the Niners' Frank Gore, and it could be quite the interesting test if the Williams Wall isn't available for some reason. The Niners still haven't really settled on a quarterback, and could even be breaking in a rookie in 2009, which one would think would play to Minnesota's advantage.

Defensively, Mike Singletary's bunch is about average in most aspects, and is easily the best bunch that the Vikings will face in the season's first three weeks. . . again, based entirely on last season. Hopefully between the excitement of a home opener and a good chance of a 2-0 record, the Vikes can have a statement game here.

The final game of the first quarter of 2009 is the classic "records go out the window" match-up between Minnesota and the Green Bay Packers on a Monday night in Minneapolis. Yes, the Packers have a great offense, nobody denies this. However, last year at the Metrodome, Gus Frerotte pretty much handed the Pack 17 of their 27 points, and the Vikings' special teams handed them another seven. So, I don't think the Packers' offense would be as much of a concern to the Vikings as it would be to some other teams. . . particularly in light of the fact that Aaron Rodgers is still wetting himself at the mere thought of Jared Allen.

Defensively, the Packers weren't very good in 2008, as even their vaunted secondary spent the better part of the second half of the year getting toasted. Unless I missed a story about Al Harris or Charles Woodson getting younger this off-season, I'm not sure that they're really all that scary. Couple in the fact that they're changing to a defensive scheme that they, quite frankly, don't have the personnel for, and I think the Vikings stand a better than average chance of coming out of this one with a victory.

Oh, and that Adrian Peterson guy? He should absolutely rip all four of these teams up one side and down the other. Repeatedly.

Based entirely on what we know right now, and regardless of the quarterback situation, there's no reason for the Vikings to come out of this four-game stretch any worse than 3-1. . . even if Pat and Kevin Williams are wrongfully suspended by the NFL. And they'll need to get off to a fast start if at all possible. . . because the second quarter of the season could turn out to be absolutely brutal. I'll examine just how brutal in the next few days. Gotta get back to this whole wedding planning thing.. ha ha!