Root root root for our home team....

As I mentioned before I love sports. Going to games is the best. No matter how big your HDTV at home or how good the snacks your spouse makes are, there’s no replacement for seeing a live game, being part of the crowd.
That said, I have a bone to pick with some of you.
The majority of sports fans are awesome (If I constantly ask you to tag along then you are part of the majority), but there are some that just make me grit my teeth and wish I could go home. If you fall into any of the following categories, I have one plea: STOP RUINING THE GAMES FOR THE REST OF US!
1. The Drunken Idiot
Who among us hasn’t tailgated, trading beers with neighbors and doing shots with everyone parked in your row? Drinking is a part of sports, and I’m not complaining about that.
What I’m complaining about is the blubbering idiot who thinks its cool to black out before the game…his (or her) limbs are still functional, but it takes a drunken friend on either side to help them walk to their seat. I witnessed this Friday night at the Pirate game has some douche bag lays his hand on the top of my beer as he stumbles around me to his seat. I mean..how do I know this guy didn't just touch his penis while pissing in the parking lot? Once they sit down, they sway against nearby fans, do stupid shit that makes the entire section look retarded, and start fights with opposing fans, the mascot, and just about everyone else who isn’t drunk as well.
Here’s a thought: why don’t you save yourself the $40 or so you paid for the ticket and just stay in the parking lot?
2. The Boo-er
I root for the Pirates, which means that I’ve had to deal with losing seasons since I can remember. They stink; I get it. There’s still no reason to boo them every time they run onto the field or end the inning with another wasted chance at scoring runs. I can understand some groaning when a team makes an error, but hearing your own fans booing you is not going to help them play better.
If you aren’t here to support your team - your WHOLE team - go the hell home.
3. The Prascot
The Pretend Mascot has his heart in the right place. Team spirit is super cool, and it is nice to get into the game. There’s a line though, and Prascots don’t seem to know that line.
For example…the douche bag running up and down the aisles in trying to get the wave to start for the tenth time? Just sit down man. The idiot yelling “WE ARE” over and over again with only his embarrassed friend and the drunken idiot (see #1) replaying “PENN STATE” Shut the hell up. Let the mascot do his job and if you love your school or team that much then become a male cheerleader.
4. The Bored Girl Texting her Friends
These people just piss me off. I get it - you’re not a sports fan. WHY did you come to the game then? You’re obviously so bored that you’re playing games on your phone, only looking up to clap when the crowd goes wild. If you don’t know what a first down is, stay in the parking lot.
The reason these people piss me off is because for many football games, no matter who your team may be, tickets are hard to find. So every bored non-fan spending the game texting about hair products and boy bands could have been one legitimate fan enjoying the game instead of cooking burgers in the parking lot.
5. The Fair-Weather Fan
This one doesn’t need a lot of explaining, and I’m sure that you’ve met a few so-called “fans” like this during your life.
If you’re just jumping on the band wagon because a team is having a good year…you suck.
Be a man - stick with your team through thick and thin…or don’t pretend that you really are a fan.
6. The Un-fan
I truly don’t understand these people. I’ll just call them “un-fans” for lack of a better term. They come to the game SUPER excited, with all the logo garb and maybe even some face paint. Yet ask them, and they don’t even know the superstar's name or who we’re playing.
I mean, I guess there is something to be said for enjoying sports, no matter what team you’re watching, but I feel like you’re pretending to be a fan when, like with the “bored girl”, a legitimate fan who’s stuck outside without a ticket could be taking your place. If you LOVE sports, but don’t cheer for or follow any team, you’re highly suspect in my book.
7. The Sitter
This probably only applies to certain sections at football games and when their is 2 outs in the 9th inning, but can also apply to other situations as well. With that being said there are times in the game where you stand. However, there’s always that one person who insists on sitting.
Guess what? You’re ruining things for the people standing around you. The person in front of you feels awkward because his ass is basically in your face and the person behind you can’t really stand comfortably because when you sit, your back invades his leg space.
Follow the crowd and if you don’t like standing…ever…don’t come to the game - watch it from your couch at home, fat ass.
8. Promo Fans
I was once again fortunate enough to run into this Friday night as well. I would say I probably go to 10-15 Pirate games every year. I'll admit, I've purposely bought tickets to certain promotions I was interested in (i.e. Bobbleheads, hats, etc) However, these are mementos of a team I'm supporting and I never turn down a free ticket to a game I'm able to attend regardless of the "promotion". That being said, I found it actually appalling that the only time the Pirates can sell out is during fireworks night. I'm sorry, but it actually pisses me off that it takes me 20 minutes to walk from my seat to the Quaker Steak stand when it normally takes about 3 minutes because nobody comes to support the TEAM. I wouldn't mind a huge crowd if they were there to support the Bucs. The funny thing is once they do start contending, that's exactly what will happen. The promo fans will become the "Fair Weather Fans". And if that's what it takes for you to come to the game now (a stupid fireworks show) then you currently belong in category #6.