Bye Week - Minnesota Viking Style....

If you gave every NFL team the option of when they wanted their bye week, I'm guessing most teams would pick Week 9 because it is the precise median of the 17 week NFL season. Thankfully, the Vikings get that perfect weekend off to kick back and enjoy their perch atop the NFC North. So, how do you still manage to "win" during a bye week? Well..

Step 1 - Watch Jay Cutler and the Bears get completely undressed at home by Kurt Warner and the Cardinals.

Step 2 - Watch the Green Bay Packers ensure that there will be NO winless teams in the NFL in 2009.

And....well, that's all you need, really.

So, if the Vikings play .500 ball the rest of the way, the Bears would have to go 7-1 to catch them and hope the one loss isn't to the Vikings. The Packers would have to go 8-0 in order to catch and pass them for the NFC North title. I don't want to say it's over...but there's a rather large woman off-stage getting her vocal chords warmed up.

Now, I don't know any of the players personally, but I tried to envision how some of them spent their free time this past week:

Jared Allen: Probably hunted at least four species of wild animal using a variety of weapons: bow, shotgun, rifle, his bare hands, and his mullet. The nice thing for Jared is that he doesn't have to change his wardrobe at all when he goes hunting.

Brad Childress: Worked the drive-thru at McDonald's. You didn't think Mickey D's was going to give him that headset for free did ya? He's got to work it off! He probably watched his favorite DVD too, "Awesome Beards in History, narrated by Chuck Norris."

Adrian Peterson: Was out destroying brick walls, large construction equipment, and William Gay by simply lowering his shoulder into them. You know, just to stay sharp.

Percy Harvin: With all due respect to Timmy Reges and Mike Wallace, he was making room in his trophy case for the 2009 NFL Rookie of the Year Award. And thinking up more mysterious illnesses to get out of practice during the week.

Asher Allen: Hopefully threw away his "How to Tackle, by Deion Sanders" book.

Antoine Winfield: Miraculously healing his sprained foot in time for next week's game (Please?!?!) Also probably attended Ohio State-Penn State game leading the cheers...O-H...

Brett Favre: Finally choosing that TV at Sears....maybe....

Tarvaris Jackson: Watching the game film from last year's Arizona game alone in his house and quietly sobbing. "I had FOUR touchdowns!! FOUR! I can do it too guys!!!

Sage Rosenfels: Finished writing his autobiography titled "The Easiest Money I Ever Made: My time with Brett and the 2009 Vikings."

Pat Williams: Eating. A lot.

So, it's time for a three game home stand against the Lions, Seahawks, and Bears. Sitting at 7-1 currently, the Vikings should be able to keep pace for home field advantage, let's just hope SOMEBODY can knock off the Saints. See ya all next week!