Yes, I know exactly what you're thinking, because I thought it for a while last night myself.
Nine months of preparation. . .millions of dollars spent. . .and the Vikings go out and put up a performance like THAT!?
The most important thing to keep in mind here is that this just one game. Yes, it hurts worse and sucks more because it was a loss to Green Bay. But there are still 15 more of these to go this season, and I have a feeling that things will be getting better the rest of the way. Having my theory proven true hinges on the abilities of one man.
Brad Childress.
As of this moment, I've given up trying to figure out how Brad Childress constructs his offensive game plans. The first half of last night's game was one of the single worst first halves of football I've ever seen. Tarvaris Jackson had 7. . .yes, SEVEN. . .pass attempts in the entire first half, and only completed two for 16 yards. Yes, they have Adrian Peterson at their disposal, and he was his usual God-like self last night, given the circumstances. . .but during the pre-season, I saw an improvement in Jackson's play. Brad Childress told everyone all off-season about how Jackson had improved and was going to be a big surprise this year.
And then he goes out in the first half and gives him, basically, zero opportunities to make plays. Did they run a single time to the outside last night? Was there a toss or a sweep play to be found anywhere? If there was, I don't recall it. When you have Steve Hutchinson and Matt Birk, two of the premiere players at their positions you should be running towards the edges a lot and, for some reason, the Vikings seem to be content to just keep slamming people into the middle of the line repeatedly.
The offensive game plan simply MUST be more creative from this point forward if the Vikings are to reach the potential that I know they have. Granted, the absence of Bryant McKinnie plays a big part in that, but even with Hicks or Johnson out there at the LT spot, the Vikings need to start doing some different things with Jackson and with the best RB combo in football.
And yet, despite all of that and despite Brad Childress' terrible first half playcalling, the Minnesota offense outscored Green Bay's offense. They actually outgained the Packers in net yardage, 355-317. The Vikings had more first downs than Green Bay did (21-15). Both teams were right around 40% on third-down conversions. Tarvaris Jackson and Aaron Rodgers both had 178 passing yards and 1 passing TD. (Granted, Rodgers looked far more efficient in doing so.) It was truly a tale of two halves for Minnesota. After letting the Packers win the time of possession battle in the first half, the Vikings had possession for a longer time in the third quarter than they did in the entire first half. There was a point in the second half where the Vikings had run 29 offensive plays to Green Bay's 3.
As is the case in the National Football League, one or two plays made the difference in this football game. A few examples of such plays?
How about back in the first quarter where the Packers' faced 3rd and 13 and ran a draw play to Brandon Jackson. Jackson fumbled the ball forward, and it looked like numerous Vikings had a shot at recovering the football. . .but at the end of the play, Greg Jennings recovered for Green Bay on the other side of the first-down line, and the Packers kept possession. A recovery there for Minnesota would have set them up at around the Packers' 30-yard line, and they likely could have gotten at least a field goal out of something like that.
Or how about when Bernard Berrian catches a pass down the sideline after beating the defender only to trip on his own with nothing but green grass in front of him? Alas, the Vikings only drive 20 more yards and have to settle for a field goal. As it turns out, huge 4 point swing right there.
The killer, of course, was Will Blackmon's 76-yard punt return in the third quarter. That was a combination of a bad, line drive kick by Chris Kluwe and pretty terrible overall coverage by the Vikings' special teams. Big returns will happen, of course, but usually Kluwe has significantly more hang time on his punts. Hopefully this won't become a trend over the course of the season.
Speaking of special teams, how much different could things have been had the Vikings recovered what was a perfectly acceptable onside kick by Ryan Longwell? Granted, they got the ball back anyway, but they could have set up shop in Green Bay territory (which is where they would have been, thanks to a dumb penalty on the Packers during the PAT after Adrian Peterson's TD run).
Yes, last night's loss was disappointing, to say the least. Yes, it's a game that the Vikings could have won. Yes, Brad Childress is now 0-5 against Green Bay as the Vikings' head coach (and nobody is more infuriated with that than I am). But it's only one game, and the time has come to move on and start looking forward to the home opener against Indianapolis on Sunday afternoon. Hopefully things will take a much different path than they took on Monday night.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Thursday, September 4, 2008
NFL...ummm...Preview?!?
As I begin my countdown to the beginning of the NFL season (5 hours away as I begin this blog), I'm interested in just more than the 40 cent wings I'm going to devour at Striker's to kick off the season. I'll be interested to see how many of these so called "predictions" I've read/heard end up being accurate. So after getting through all my NFL previews and watching preseason games/talk shows/etc, I have come up with four things that I heard or read that has me scratching my head.
This is the Cardinals' year: It was their year in 2006 when they bought Edgerrin James and drafted Matt Leinart; they went 5-11 again. It was their year in '07 when a new coaching staff swept in; they won two meaningless games late to get to 8-8. This year? Well, they already have benched Leinart in favor of aging Kurt Warner. How bout this year...shut up and play!
The Steelers will hold off the up and coming Browns: Pittsburgh was #1 in total defense last season, but it was also the defense that gave up close to 30 points per game as the Steelers went 1-5 down the stretch including two home losses to the Jags. They did not sign a single first-rate defensive free agent and went mostly offense in the draft. Not to mention the O-Line which gave up about 500 sacks last year only got worse instead of better in the off-season (So long future Hall of Famer Alan Faneca). Mix in a brutal schedule and I'm not sure how they can get 10 wins. I know I'm gonna get killed for this living 45 minutes from Pittsburgh, but hey, just speaking my mind (Which I was "hired" to do, right?).
Tarvaris Jackson can't take the Vikings deep into the playoffs: In Minnesota's 5-2 finish last season, the second-year QB completed over 65% of his passes (Yes..true..I looked it up!). I guarantee you, if he's a 65% passer this year, the Vikings will win at least one playoff game. If he does that AND makes few mistakes...well... the possibilities are endless.
Asante Samuel is worth the money the Eagles spent on him: He's probably in the top 10 when talking about corners in the league, but he was incredibly inconsistent last year and in my opinion cost the Patriots the Super Bowl with his terrible coverage of David Tyree in the 4th quarter. How silly is it that the Eagles are paying him $11 million MORE than Brian Westbrook?
So, there you have it. Oh..wait..you want a Super Bowl pick? Okay...how bout....
Division Winners: Patriots, Browns, Colts, Chargers, Cowboys, Vikings, Buccaneers, Seahawks
Wild Card Teams: Jaguars, Titans, Eagles, Giants
AFC Championship: Patriots over Jaguars
NFC Championship: Cowboys over Vikings
Super Bowl: Patriots: 30
Cowboys: 27
Check back w/ me in January kiddies!!
This is the Cardinals' year: It was their year in 2006 when they bought Edgerrin James and drafted Matt Leinart; they went 5-11 again. It was their year in '07 when a new coaching staff swept in; they won two meaningless games late to get to 8-8. This year? Well, they already have benched Leinart in favor of aging Kurt Warner. How bout this year...shut up and play!
The Steelers will hold off the up and coming Browns: Pittsburgh was #1 in total defense last season, but it was also the defense that gave up close to 30 points per game as the Steelers went 1-5 down the stretch including two home losses to the Jags. They did not sign a single first-rate defensive free agent and went mostly offense in the draft. Not to mention the O-Line which gave up about 500 sacks last year only got worse instead of better in the off-season (So long future Hall of Famer Alan Faneca). Mix in a brutal schedule and I'm not sure how they can get 10 wins. I know I'm gonna get killed for this living 45 minutes from Pittsburgh, but hey, just speaking my mind (Which I was "hired" to do, right?).
Tarvaris Jackson can't take the Vikings deep into the playoffs: In Minnesota's 5-2 finish last season, the second-year QB completed over 65% of his passes (Yes..true..I looked it up!). I guarantee you, if he's a 65% passer this year, the Vikings will win at least one playoff game. If he does that AND makes few mistakes...well... the possibilities are endless.
Asante Samuel is worth the money the Eagles spent on him: He's probably in the top 10 when talking about corners in the league, but he was incredibly inconsistent last year and in my opinion cost the Patriots the Super Bowl with his terrible coverage of David Tyree in the 4th quarter. How silly is it that the Eagles are paying him $11 million MORE than Brian Westbrook?
So, there you have it. Oh..wait..you want a Super Bowl pick? Okay...how bout....
Division Winners: Patriots, Browns, Colts, Chargers, Cowboys, Vikings, Buccaneers, Seahawks
Wild Card Teams: Jaguars, Titans, Eagles, Giants
AFC Championship: Patriots over Jaguars
NFC Championship: Cowboys over Vikings
Super Bowl: Patriots: 30
Cowboys: 27
Check back w/ me in January kiddies!!
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Apparently the lights are out....
Steroids are bad for your body. Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past twenty years, you know that steroids, while beneficial for muscle strength in the short run, are extremely dangerous to your prolonged health.
Shawne Merriman is a premiere linebacker in the NFL—also a fact you should know if you are a responsible sports fan.
What you might not know, or may have already forgotten, is the fact that Merriman tested positive for steroids in 2006.
In case anyone forgot, the Chargers’ star served a four-game suspension in the middle of that season as was required by the NFL’s substance abuse policy.
Despite his four-game absence, Merriman still managed to lead the league in sacks, earning himself a starting position in the Pro Bowl that year. Because of his success, people seemed to overlook his positive drug test, perhaps dismissing it as irrelevant or somehow unimportant.
Lately Merriman has been front page news because of his recently discovered knee injury—two torn ligaments.
As the circumstances of Merriman’s latest issue continue to dominate the sports headlines; and upon hearing the latest news that Mr. Lights Out plans to forgo surgery (wait, whaaaat?!?) in favor of playing, I started to wonder…do steroids mess up your brain as well as your body?
First off, is it too much of a (ligament) stretch to assume Merriman’s knee injury is related at all to his prior use of performance enhancing drugs? What I’ve heard about steroids leads me to believe that while your muscles may get bigger, it comes at the cost of weakened ligaments.
But what I want to really know now, after finding out that Merriman plans to play this season, is just how much damage steroids can do to a person’s mental capacity.
The first indication that Shawne might not be the sharpest knife in the drawer came when it was reported that he was seeking a second opinion after having his knee evaluated by Dr. James Andrews.
I watch Sportscenter enough to know that Dr. Andrews is the end-all, be-all of sports medicine. Almost every high-profile athlete suffering from a knee, shoulder, elbow or ankle injury goes to Dr. Andrews to have it fixed. Simply put, if he can’t fix it, no one can.
But for Merriman, one opinion from Dr. Andrews—albeit the only opinion that really matters—wasn’t good enough.
After consulting multiple doctors who all told him that surgery would be the best option, Merriman has opted to refuse surgery (again, whaaaat!?!?) and play football this season.
I would like to take this opportunity to suggest an over/under for my PTI boys. Here it is: “Over or under four weeks until Shawne Merriman’s knee completely and totally explodes?”
If they take the over, they’re as stupid as Merriman is. How does he expect to move laterally-as a linebacker who covers sideline to sideline-without a LATEREL collateral ligament?
He probably thinks he can just grow a new one in the remaining 10 days before the season starts.
In all seriousness, he might not even make it through the first game. Maybe after three games (if he makes it that long) when he’s totaled only 4 tackles and spent more time on the trainer’s table than on the field, he’ll realize what a moron he is.
Until then, it’s his knee and his future he’s toying with. Maybe he should talk to my old homeboy Daunte Culpepper. The only rolling he's doing nowadays is rolling out of his bed whenever he wants to because he's NOT ON A TEAM.
Hey Kiddies....DON'T DO DRUGS
Shawne Merriman is a premiere linebacker in the NFL—also a fact you should know if you are a responsible sports fan.
What you might not know, or may have already forgotten, is the fact that Merriman tested positive for steroids in 2006.
In case anyone forgot, the Chargers’ star served a four-game suspension in the middle of that season as was required by the NFL’s substance abuse policy.
Despite his four-game absence, Merriman still managed to lead the league in sacks, earning himself a starting position in the Pro Bowl that year. Because of his success, people seemed to overlook his positive drug test, perhaps dismissing it as irrelevant or somehow unimportant.
Lately Merriman has been front page news because of his recently discovered knee injury—two torn ligaments.
As the circumstances of Merriman’s latest issue continue to dominate the sports headlines; and upon hearing the latest news that Mr. Lights Out plans to forgo surgery (wait, whaaaat?!?) in favor of playing, I started to wonder…do steroids mess up your brain as well as your body?
First off, is it too much of a (ligament) stretch to assume Merriman’s knee injury is related at all to his prior use of performance enhancing drugs? What I’ve heard about steroids leads me to believe that while your muscles may get bigger, it comes at the cost of weakened ligaments.
But what I want to really know now, after finding out that Merriman plans to play this season, is just how much damage steroids can do to a person’s mental capacity.
The first indication that Shawne might not be the sharpest knife in the drawer came when it was reported that he was seeking a second opinion after having his knee evaluated by Dr. James Andrews.
I watch Sportscenter enough to know that Dr. Andrews is the end-all, be-all of sports medicine. Almost every high-profile athlete suffering from a knee, shoulder, elbow or ankle injury goes to Dr. Andrews to have it fixed. Simply put, if he can’t fix it, no one can.
But for Merriman, one opinion from Dr. Andrews—albeit the only opinion that really matters—wasn’t good enough.
After consulting multiple doctors who all told him that surgery would be the best option, Merriman has opted to refuse surgery (again, whaaaat!?!?) and play football this season.
I would like to take this opportunity to suggest an over/under for my PTI boys. Here it is: “Over or under four weeks until Shawne Merriman’s knee completely and totally explodes?”
If they take the over, they’re as stupid as Merriman is. How does he expect to move laterally-as a linebacker who covers sideline to sideline-without a LATEREL collateral ligament?
He probably thinks he can just grow a new one in the remaining 10 days before the season starts.
In all seriousness, he might not even make it through the first game. Maybe after three games (if he makes it that long) when he’s totaled only 4 tackles and spent more time on the trainer’s table than on the field, he’ll realize what a moron he is.
Until then, it’s his knee and his future he’s toying with. Maybe he should talk to my old homeboy Daunte Culpepper. The only rolling he's doing nowadays is rolling out of his bed whenever he wants to because he's NOT ON A TEAM.
Hey Kiddies....DON'T DO DRUGS
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Why yes...I am a NERD
That's right, I said it. I'm a nerd. And I mean it, too. Seriously. Any sort of pass I may have gotten because I love sports should be immediately revoked. Not too long ago a friend tried to describe a huge sports convention fair to me. He eventually characterized it as "like a Star Trek convention for sports fans." And it hit me, he had nailed it. Not only was it not any different, in many ways it was far worse.
Look at how we would characterize a Star Trek convention and compare:
Mostly men? Check. In fact, the sports convention fairs are far worse in this category.
Costumes? Check. Think about it, most sports fans have a few jerseys that they wear to support their favorite teams and athletes. At least the Sci Fi/Trek fan has the decency to admit that they are dressing up.
Knowledge of small detail? Oh yeah. The sports fan is nothing if not a repository for a list of numbers, dates, and rosters. We're led to believe that somehow knowing when and where the Klingons and Federation signed a treaty is being a total nerd, but knowing the batting average and line up of the 1995 Braves is normal? Yes, I referenced Klingons and the Federation, what can I say? My dad watched Star Trek, I just happened to be in the room.
Too much time spent arguing imaginary match ups? Bar fights have started over whether or not the 1976 Steelers could beat the 2007 Patriots. If you just exclaimed loudly, "That doesn't make any sense" or something like that, welcome to my point. The fact is sports fans will tell you that sports are "real" and therefore matter, while Star Trek, comic books, Sci Fi, etc. are works of fiction and don't matter. Because there really was a Wilt Chamberlain and a Michael Jordan, arguments about who was better in their prime are somehow more valid than whether Spiderman could beat up Batman. Yeah, well that's bullshit. There is no difference because they are both invalid arguments. The games that Chamberlain and Jordan played were different and so were the teams.
Sports fans are usually involved in fantasy leagues. Did you catch that word..fantasy...hmm...that right there makes you a nerd.
I would argue that even though the athletes exist, they matter less. They played a game, people paid loads of money to watch it. Half of them won, half of them lost, and it was done every year for more and more money. It's not my intention to just crap all over sports, after all I've given plenty of reasons before on why I love sports. Sports can be fun to watch. However, comics can be fun to read (so I've heard). Star Trek can be enjoyable to watch (Judging by it's many fans). But let's not kid ourselves, devotion to these things are peas in a pod. I happen to believe it's no mistake that you get baseball cards the same place you get comic books.
Look at how we would characterize a Star Trek convention and compare:
Mostly men? Check. In fact, the sports convention fairs are far worse in this category.
Costumes? Check. Think about it, most sports fans have a few jerseys that they wear to support their favorite teams and athletes. At least the Sci Fi/Trek fan has the decency to admit that they are dressing up.
Knowledge of small detail? Oh yeah. The sports fan is nothing if not a repository for a list of numbers, dates, and rosters. We're led to believe that somehow knowing when and where the Klingons and Federation signed a treaty is being a total nerd, but knowing the batting average and line up of the 1995 Braves is normal? Yes, I referenced Klingons and the Federation, what can I say? My dad watched Star Trek, I just happened to be in the room.
Too much time spent arguing imaginary match ups? Bar fights have started over whether or not the 1976 Steelers could beat the 2007 Patriots. If you just exclaimed loudly, "That doesn't make any sense" or something like that, welcome to my point. The fact is sports fans will tell you that sports are "real" and therefore matter, while Star Trek, comic books, Sci Fi, etc. are works of fiction and don't matter. Because there really was a Wilt Chamberlain and a Michael Jordan, arguments about who was better in their prime are somehow more valid than whether Spiderman could beat up Batman. Yeah, well that's bullshit. There is no difference because they are both invalid arguments. The games that Chamberlain and Jordan played were different and so were the teams.
Sports fans are usually involved in fantasy leagues. Did you catch that word..fantasy...hmm...that right there makes you a nerd.
I would argue that even though the athletes exist, they matter less. They played a game, people paid loads of money to watch it. Half of them won, half of them lost, and it was done every year for more and more money. It's not my intention to just crap all over sports, after all I've given plenty of reasons before on why I love sports. Sports can be fun to watch. However, comics can be fun to read (so I've heard). Star Trek can be enjoyable to watch (Judging by it's many fans). But let's not kid ourselves, devotion to these things are peas in a pod. I happen to believe it's no mistake that you get baseball cards the same place you get comic books.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
It's the final countdown....
Okay..so this is officially my last blog about the Olympics..at least for these Games. Now don't get me wrong, I consider myself as red-white-and-blue as most Americans when it comes to rooting interests in the Olympics (for the actual SPORTING events-see other blogs for example).
But these medal-count standings are starting to make me nuts. ...
All medals are not created equal. So, why do the standings pretend they are? I keep hearing, “China leads in golds, but the U.S. has more medals.” So which is more important?
Well the first idea is to win gold. If not gold, silver. If not silver, bronze. In that order. Right? ...
Seems to me the standings should be weighted accordingly. Nobody of right mind would score a swimming or track and field meet by counting the number of places each team snatches. First place gets most points, second fewer, third fewer still. Add up the points, and that tells you who wins. ...
If we’re going to compile international standings, medals should be scored 3-2-1, for gold-silver-bronze. ...
The final medal count in Beijing was 110 for the US and 100 for China. So, why aren't we turning over cars and setting fires in the streets? Alas, because if we used my scoring methods the final score: China 223 United States 220 In other words ...
They didn't kick our butts, but they did win.....
maybe we should have had some 14 year old girls compete in gymnastics? : ) : )
But these medal-count standings are starting to make me nuts. ...
All medals are not created equal. So, why do the standings pretend they are? I keep hearing, “China leads in golds, but the U.S. has more medals.” So which is more important?
Well the first idea is to win gold. If not gold, silver. If not silver, bronze. In that order. Right? ...
Seems to me the standings should be weighted accordingly. Nobody of right mind would score a swimming or track and field meet by counting the number of places each team snatches. First place gets most points, second fewer, third fewer still. Add up the points, and that tells you who wins. ...
If we’re going to compile international standings, medals should be scored 3-2-1, for gold-silver-bronze. ...
The final medal count in Beijing was 110 for the US and 100 for China. So, why aren't we turning over cars and setting fires in the streets? Alas, because if we used my scoring methods the final score: China 223 United States 220 In other words ...
They didn't kick our butts, but they did win.....
maybe we should have had some 14 year old girls compete in gymnastics? : ) : )
Friday, August 22, 2008
"Real World": Beijing
These Olympics are a joke.
I know that’s harsh, but take away the flag and here’s what you are left with. In some sports you have amateur competition. In others you have individual corporations disguised as a “team” (men’s basketball comes to mind).
Athletes that have no blood connection to a nation but have obtained a visa from that country are allowed to represent them in the Olympics. In America, we have people waiting 25 years for a green card who have lived here most of their lives, but if you can run the 1,500 meters really fast, we’ll process that paperwork and you’re one of us, baby!
Maybe I’ve lost my Olympics spirit. Apparently, I’m not the only one.
Baseball is an Olympic sport but is on its way out. Why? Because Major League Baseball will not do what the NHL does and shut down its season for three weeks every four years to allow the best players to compete. When did a pro league’s cooperation determine what the Olympics did? Aren’t the Olympics separate from pro sports? Didn’t they used to be for amateurs?
After these Games, softball is out of the Olympics. Why? Because the Americans win every time. Well, until this year I guess. Since we have no real competition it’s no longer viewed as a “world” sport. Beach volleyball stays, but softball has to go.
I’m curious, if Jennie Finch pitched while wearing the same outfit as the beach volleyball players, would it then be a “world” sport? Absolutely, because young men and women around the “world” can recognize that Finch is attractive and the “Olympic Movement,” as defined by NBC, (in cooperation with the IOC), is all about trying to reach the coveted 18-34 demographic. Why do you think the X Games have been added to the Winter Olympics?
These two weeks are exciting, heart-warming, heart-breaking and extremely entertaining.
Can we just call this for what it has become? A reality TV show every other year that airs either right before or right after football season.
The show is spectacular! In future years watch for Simon, Paula, Randy and fan voting to be added.
It just used to be more than that.
It used to be the Olympics.
I know that’s harsh, but take away the flag and here’s what you are left with. In some sports you have amateur competition. In others you have individual corporations disguised as a “team” (men’s basketball comes to mind).
Athletes that have no blood connection to a nation but have obtained a visa from that country are allowed to represent them in the Olympics. In America, we have people waiting 25 years for a green card who have lived here most of their lives, but if you can run the 1,500 meters really fast, we’ll process that paperwork and you’re one of us, baby!
Maybe I’ve lost my Olympics spirit. Apparently, I’m not the only one.
Baseball is an Olympic sport but is on its way out. Why? Because Major League Baseball will not do what the NHL does and shut down its season for three weeks every four years to allow the best players to compete. When did a pro league’s cooperation determine what the Olympics did? Aren’t the Olympics separate from pro sports? Didn’t they used to be for amateurs?
After these Games, softball is out of the Olympics. Why? Because the Americans win every time. Well, until this year I guess. Since we have no real competition it’s no longer viewed as a “world” sport. Beach volleyball stays, but softball has to go.
I’m curious, if Jennie Finch pitched while wearing the same outfit as the beach volleyball players, would it then be a “world” sport? Absolutely, because young men and women around the “world” can recognize that Finch is attractive and the “Olympic Movement,” as defined by NBC, (in cooperation with the IOC), is all about trying to reach the coveted 18-34 demographic. Why do you think the X Games have been added to the Winter Olympics?
These two weeks are exciting, heart-warming, heart-breaking and extremely entertaining.
Can we just call this for what it has become? A reality TV show every other year that airs either right before or right after football season.
The show is spectacular! In future years watch for Simon, Paula, Randy and fan voting to be added.
It just used to be more than that.
It used to be the Olympics.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Root root root for our home team....
As I mentioned before I love sports. Going to games is the best. No matter how big your HDTV at home or how good the snacks your spouse makes are, there’s no replacement for seeing a live game, being part of the crowd.
That said, I have a bone to pick with some of you.
The majority of sports fans are awesome (If I constantly ask you to tag along then you are part of the majority), but there are some that just make me grit my teeth and wish I could go home. If you fall into any of the following categories, I have one plea: STOP RUINING THE GAMES FOR THE REST OF US!
1. The Drunken Idiot
Who among us hasn’t tailgated, trading beers with neighbors and doing shots with everyone parked in your row? Drinking is a part of sports, and I’m not complaining about that.
What I’m complaining about is the blubbering idiot who thinks its cool to black out before the game…his (or her) limbs are still functional, but it takes a drunken friend on either side to help them walk to their seat. I witnessed this Friday night at the Pirate game has some douche bag lays his hand on the top of my beer as he stumbles around me to his seat. I mean..how do I know this guy didn't just touch his penis while pissing in the parking lot? Once they sit down, they sway against nearby fans, do stupid shit that makes the entire section look retarded, and start fights with opposing fans, the mascot, and just about everyone else who isn’t drunk as well.
Here’s a thought: why don’t you save yourself the $40 or so you paid for the ticket and just stay in the parking lot?
2. The Boo-er
I root for the Pirates, which means that I’ve had to deal with losing seasons since I can remember. They stink; I get it. There’s still no reason to boo them every time they run onto the field or end the inning with another wasted chance at scoring runs. I can understand some groaning when a team makes an error, but hearing your own fans booing you is not going to help them play better.
If you aren’t here to support your team - your WHOLE team - go the hell home.
3. The Prascot
The Pretend Mascot has his heart in the right place. Team spirit is super cool, and it is nice to get into the game. There’s a line though, and Prascots don’t seem to know that line.
For example…the douche bag running up and down the aisles in trying to get the wave to start for the tenth time? Just sit down man. The idiot yelling “WE ARE” over and over again with only his embarrassed friend and the drunken idiot (see #1) replaying “PENN STATE” Shut the hell up. Let the mascot do his job and if you love your school or team that much then become a male cheerleader.
4. The Bored Girl Texting her Friends
These people just piss me off. I get it - you’re not a sports fan. WHY did you come to the game then? You’re obviously so bored that you’re playing games on your phone, only looking up to clap when the crowd goes wild. If you don’t know what a first down is, stay in the parking lot.
The reason these people piss me off is because for many football games, no matter who your team may be, tickets are hard to find. So every bored non-fan spending the game texting about hair products and boy bands could have been one legitimate fan enjoying the game instead of cooking burgers in the parking lot.
5. The Fair-Weather Fan
This one doesn’t need a lot of explaining, and I’m sure that you’ve met a few so-called “fans” like this during your life.
If you’re just jumping on the band wagon because a team is having a good year…you suck.
Be a man - stick with your team through thick and thin…or don’t pretend that you really are a fan.
6. The Un-fan
I truly don’t understand these people. I’ll just call them “un-fans” for lack of a better term. They come to the game SUPER excited, with all the logo garb and maybe even some face paint. Yet ask them, and they don’t even know the superstar's name or who we’re playing.
I mean, I guess there is something to be said for enjoying sports, no matter what team you’re watching, but I feel like you’re pretending to be a fan when, like with the “bored girl”, a legitimate fan who’s stuck outside without a ticket could be taking your place. If you LOVE sports, but don’t cheer for or follow any team, you’re highly suspect in my book.
7. The Sitter
This probably only applies to certain sections at football games and when their is 2 outs in the 9th inning, but can also apply to other situations as well. With that being said there are times in the game where you stand. However, there’s always that one person who insists on sitting.
Guess what? You’re ruining things for the people standing around you. The person in front of you feels awkward because his ass is basically in your face and the person behind you can’t really stand comfortably because when you sit, your back invades his leg space.
Follow the crowd and if you don’t like standing…ever…don’t come to the game - watch it from your couch at home, fat ass.
8. Promo Fans
I was once again fortunate enough to run into this Friday night as well. I would say I probably go to 10-15 Pirate games every year. I'll admit, I've purposely bought tickets to certain promotions I was interested in (i.e. Bobbleheads, hats, etc) However, these are mementos of a team I'm supporting and I never turn down a free ticket to a game I'm able to attend regardless of the "promotion". That being said, I found it actually appalling that the only time the Pirates can sell out is during fireworks night. I'm sorry, but it actually pisses me off that it takes me 20 minutes to walk from my seat to the Quaker Steak stand when it normally takes about 3 minutes because nobody comes to support the TEAM. I wouldn't mind a huge crowd if they were there to support the Bucs. The funny thing is once they do start contending, that's exactly what will happen. The promo fans will become the "Fair Weather Fans". And if that's what it takes for you to come to the game now (a stupid fireworks show) then you currently belong in category #6.
That said, I have a bone to pick with some of you.
The majority of sports fans are awesome (If I constantly ask you to tag along then you are part of the majority), but there are some that just make me grit my teeth and wish I could go home. If you fall into any of the following categories, I have one plea: STOP RUINING THE GAMES FOR THE REST OF US!
1. The Drunken Idiot
Who among us hasn’t tailgated, trading beers with neighbors and doing shots with everyone parked in your row? Drinking is a part of sports, and I’m not complaining about that.
What I’m complaining about is the blubbering idiot who thinks its cool to black out before the game…his (or her) limbs are still functional, but it takes a drunken friend on either side to help them walk to their seat. I witnessed this Friday night at the Pirate game has some douche bag lays his hand on the top of my beer as he stumbles around me to his seat. I mean..how do I know this guy didn't just touch his penis while pissing in the parking lot? Once they sit down, they sway against nearby fans, do stupid shit that makes the entire section look retarded, and start fights with opposing fans, the mascot, and just about everyone else who isn’t drunk as well.
Here’s a thought: why don’t you save yourself the $40 or so you paid for the ticket and just stay in the parking lot?
2. The Boo-er
I root for the Pirates, which means that I’ve had to deal with losing seasons since I can remember. They stink; I get it. There’s still no reason to boo them every time they run onto the field or end the inning with another wasted chance at scoring runs. I can understand some groaning when a team makes an error, but hearing your own fans booing you is not going to help them play better.
If you aren’t here to support your team - your WHOLE team - go the hell home.
3. The Prascot
The Pretend Mascot has his heart in the right place. Team spirit is super cool, and it is nice to get into the game. There’s a line though, and Prascots don’t seem to know that line.
For example…the douche bag running up and down the aisles in trying to get the wave to start for the tenth time? Just sit down man. The idiot yelling “WE ARE” over and over again with only his embarrassed friend and the drunken idiot (see #1) replaying “PENN STATE” Shut the hell up. Let the mascot do his job and if you love your school or team that much then become a male cheerleader.
4. The Bored Girl Texting her Friends
These people just piss me off. I get it - you’re not a sports fan. WHY did you come to the game then? You’re obviously so bored that you’re playing games on your phone, only looking up to clap when the crowd goes wild. If you don’t know what a first down is, stay in the parking lot.
The reason these people piss me off is because for many football games, no matter who your team may be, tickets are hard to find. So every bored non-fan spending the game texting about hair products and boy bands could have been one legitimate fan enjoying the game instead of cooking burgers in the parking lot.
5. The Fair-Weather Fan
This one doesn’t need a lot of explaining, and I’m sure that you’ve met a few so-called “fans” like this during your life.
If you’re just jumping on the band wagon because a team is having a good year…you suck.
Be a man - stick with your team through thick and thin…or don’t pretend that you really are a fan.
6. The Un-fan
I truly don’t understand these people. I’ll just call them “un-fans” for lack of a better term. They come to the game SUPER excited, with all the logo garb and maybe even some face paint. Yet ask them, and they don’t even know the superstar's name or who we’re playing.
I mean, I guess there is something to be said for enjoying sports, no matter what team you’re watching, but I feel like you’re pretending to be a fan when, like with the “bored girl”, a legitimate fan who’s stuck outside without a ticket could be taking your place. If you LOVE sports, but don’t cheer for or follow any team, you’re highly suspect in my book.
7. The Sitter
This probably only applies to certain sections at football games and when their is 2 outs in the 9th inning, but can also apply to other situations as well. With that being said there are times in the game where you stand. However, there’s always that one person who insists on sitting.
Guess what? You’re ruining things for the people standing around you. The person in front of you feels awkward because his ass is basically in your face and the person behind you can’t really stand comfortably because when you sit, your back invades his leg space.
Follow the crowd and if you don’t like standing…ever…don’t come to the game - watch it from your couch at home, fat ass.
8. Promo Fans
I was once again fortunate enough to run into this Friday night as well. I would say I probably go to 10-15 Pirate games every year. I'll admit, I've purposely bought tickets to certain promotions I was interested in (i.e. Bobbleheads, hats, etc) However, these are mementos of a team I'm supporting and I never turn down a free ticket to a game I'm able to attend regardless of the "promotion". That being said, I found it actually appalling that the only time the Pirates can sell out is during fireworks night. I'm sorry, but it actually pisses me off that it takes me 20 minutes to walk from my seat to the Quaker Steak stand when it normally takes about 3 minutes because nobody comes to support the TEAM. I wouldn't mind a huge crowd if they were there to support the Bucs. The funny thing is once they do start contending, that's exactly what will happen. The promo fans will become the "Fair Weather Fans". And if that's what it takes for you to come to the game now (a stupid fireworks show) then you currently belong in category #6.
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